Gov. Sarah Palin, commander of Alaska, mans the thin snowy line that lies between two hostile socialist countries: Russia and Canada. Weeks after the GOP convention, Palin still maintains that sheer proximity to these powers is evidence of her foreign policy credentials.
In an interview this week with CBS's Katie Couric, Palin was asked to elaborate on this theory:
Katie Couric: You've cited Alaska's proximity to Russia as part of your foreign policy experience. What did you mean by that?
Sarah Palin: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and, on our other side, the land-boundry that we have with Canada. It's funny that a comment like that was kinda made to ... I don't know, you know ... reporters.
Couric: Mocked?
Palin: Yeah, mocked, I guess that's the word, yeah.
Couric: Well, explain to me why that enhances your foreign-policy credentials.
Palin: Well, it certainly does, because our, our next-door neighbors are foreign countries, there in the state that I am the executive of.
Yes, the threat sounds a bit to me like the situation Cold Warrior Richard Nixon warned about when he told interviewer David Frost that Cuba and Chile threatened to crush Latin America in a "red sandwich." Palin's sandwich could certainly give Alaska heartburn: it's Canadian bacon on Russian rye!
A bit later in the Couric interview, Palin elaborated on the threat of having to eat that sandwich as a Red Dawn approached:
Couric: Have you ever been involved in any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?
Palin: We have trade missions back and forth, we do. It's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia. As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right next to, they are right next to our state.
Is she warning us that Putin's head is floating like a giant blimp into American airspace? Those commies are apparently trying to creep us out.
While Palin is being mocked, she is actually underplaying her foreign policy credentials. Unmentioned by her is this fact: Not only is Alaska bordered by Russia and Canada, but if Alaska's prospectors dug all the way down through the earth to the other side of the world, what would they find? Red China? No, Alaska also borders (with about 7,900 miles of dirt and magma in between) the coast of Antarctica. No doubt the vigilant Palin is eager to meet Antarctica's prime minister at the earliest opportunity to assess the threat his lawless continent represents.
UPDATE: According to Salon, no evidence has turned up so far that the Palin administration has sent any Alaskan trade missions to Russia. However, she once did receive a delegation from the Yukon, the Northwest Territories tourism department, and Seattle's Canadian consul general. Perhaps if she want to burnish her foreign policy credentials further she could arrange a meeting with Washington Lt. Gov. Sir Brad Owen, a real Spanish knight.